Rock The Boat

Dan's Fish Stick Story

2011-01-18T14:46:00.001-05:00

It's that time of year again. Everything is grey, it's cold as balls, your Christmas tree is in the dumpster, and it's Tuesday, yuck. Here's something from my archives to brighten up your day.

Dan's Fish Stick Story

Poop!

2010-02-10T18:25:00.003-05:00

Now with Google Buzz out, you can write a tweet and it will display in your Buzz feed and your Facebook news feed. Then people can respond to it on either, twitter, Buzz, or FB. Then you can have 3 different conversations about the same thing in 3 different places! Then, when someone responds to either your FB or your Buzz, you get an email in your gmail telling you about it.

But that's not all! You can write something in your Blogger (like I'm doing right now) and have it automatically post to your Buzz feed. Then people who want to read the boring drivel you have to talk about can either, go to Blogger, read it in their Google RSS reader, or read it in their Buzz feed! To top it all off, if you post a picture in your blog, your readers can see the picture in the Picasa Buzz feed, the Blogger Buzz feed, the Google Reader subscription, or the Blogger website itself!

Go Colts!

2010-02-04T17:22:00.002-05:00

I don't need to say it, but I'm going to say it anyway, the Colts are going to kick ass this weekend. I'm going to wear my Colts hoodie to work tomorrow, dress code be damned.

I got my car more fixed today! Now I just need a new radiator, new battery, new muffler, and new sway bar linkages. I think I'm going to do those repairs myself though. If everything goes to plan, I'll be driving this car until I buy my Camaro.

You best not tell me that I need a new car. Everyone and her mother has told me that I need to replace the neon, but I'm not gonna. Ya'll are just jealous of my $0/month car payment. Don't go spoutin' off some nonsense about repairs being more expensive than a car payment either. When the repairs start to be more than just normal maintenance, then I might consider it, but not a moment sooner than that.

It kinda bugs me when the auto spell check underlines a word and then when I click it to fix the spelling mistake, the red underline goes away. Then I'm all like, "oh, you think so do you?" Then I think I'm all good, and as soon as I move my mouse over to skip a crappy song on iTunes, the red line comes back. I'll just shake my fist at the computer screen and go on skipping crappy songs on iTunes.

Limerick 24

2010-01-25T19:35:00.000-05:00

Everything 'round her is so big,
It's comfortable to smoke her cig.
He comes nearby,
She feels so high,
And the butterflies dance a jig.

Play Time!

2010-01-13T18:38:00.003-05:00

I'm in a play! It's called Auntie Mame. I am playing the part of (older) Patrick, the orphaned nephew of Auntie Mame. It's a comedy from the 1950's.

It was a great audition. I went in 3 days after the original audition, read 2 scenes, and then got offered the part. Easy as pie. It'll be great to get out and hit the stage again. I haven't had any theater experience for almost 3 years, and it was such a huge part of my life that when it went away a part of me went dormant. Now it's back and I'm super excited. Rehearsals start in a few weeks. I'm a bit anxious about lines. I never was good at memorizing lines early in the rehearsal process, but since this is a community theater show, I don't know what to expect. I do have a lot more time to memorize the lines now than when I was in school, at least I have fewer distractions during the week nights.

I haven't seen the show, but I expect it will be very 50's comedyesque. I have heard some pretty hilarious lines, most of them coming from Aunti Mame herself. I open and close the show and I have several scenes in the second act.

If anyone wants to come, here's the link to the day and times: http://www.toledorep.org/shows/0910/mame.htm

Limerick 23

2009-12-15T23:32:00.002-05:00

It is very often preferred

When such an event has occurred

That those who did it

Step forth and submit

To the violent will of the herd

Doppelgängers

2009-12-15T22:58:00.005-05:00

Ya know how sometimes when you look at someone they remind you of someone else even though when you look at them again they don't look anything like them? That just happened to me. The culprits? Rainn Wilson and Dr. Mark Minster.

FL, NYC, Guitfiddle, Car

2009-11-24T22:11:00.003-05:00

Here goes... I can't believe that it's almost December already. Time has been flying by since, oh, about May. I think I've spent about 25% of my weekends at home since then. I attended 7 weddings this summer (was in 1) I've already got 3 lined up for next year! I just got back from Florida, that was ok, I tried to stay as far from the sun while sitting on the beach as possible. Thank goodness that there were palm trees there to afford some shade.

I went to NYC the weekend before that. I saw Hair. It was a good show, it was confusing though. I didn't understand a lot of what they were singing about, but considering all the characters in the show were high or on LSD that's understandable. The 4th wall was broken in minute 2 of the show, and all throughout the cast was coming into the audience getting us to clap and yell and stuff like that. I enjoy when shows do that. They handed out flowers and fliers to a "be-in" that was happening during the show. We also got evacuated off of Ellis Island. Evidently there was a haz-mat scare and they brought the police boats, fire boats, and assault riffles. Then we had to stand in the rain huddled under an umbrella for an hour waiting for them to search the whole museum.

I just broke my guitar some more. The nut came off as I was changing strings. It fits back on, but it might be time to get a new guitar.

Speaking of getting new stuff, I'm in the market for a new car, and I'm pretty serious about it this time. I'm looking at a few different models, but the ones that I like the best so far are Fusion, Altima, Accord, and Mazda3.

bicentenial

2009-10-06T19:43:00.002-04:00

It's my 200th post! WOOOOOO! If I had realized this earlier I would have updated a lot earlier.

I just had a thought, and it goes like this: "Americans don't have enough time because, in addition to all the things they were doing before the tubes were invented, now they have to update blogs, facebook, twitter, myspace, picassa, read other peoples blogs, facebooks, twitters, myspaces, look at pictures of their friends party/wedding online, play video games on bored.com, listen to podcasts, sync smartphones, watch Glen Beck on Hulu, and read every single article that comes out of the Huffington Post/TFLN/FML/MLIA."

Wow, what a thought. I just started to twitter, my twitter name is jenkinsonj. Go follow me unless you're a robot that shouts ads. Then you should go lie in a ditch and go into hibernation mode.

iTunes now has Genius Mixes. These things are great, Genius figures out what kind of music I listen to the most and then makes playlists without me having to do anything at all. I don't even have to choose a band to base the playlist off of like before.

Sucky Music Math

2009-09-01T23:21:00.002-04:00

Theory of a Deadman = Nickleback

Nickleback = suck

Therefore

Theory of a Deadman = suck

On a related note, whenever I hear the band's name, Theory of a Deadman, and I can't help but turn it into an acronym. TOAD MAN! This also happens with Rage Against the Machine which turns into RAT Machine, but Rage is awesome and not sucky like TOAD MAN.

Night Owl

2009-07-09T08:41:00.004-04:00

http://www.cnn.com/2009/HEALTH/07/09/night.owl.morning/index.html

Finally, scientific validation to what I've been telling everyone this whole time. I think I am being discriminated against by having to get up early to do things when it's obvious that I am at a disadvantage.

It's illegal to discriminate based on someone's handicap, it should be illegal to discriminate based on someone's sleep patterns.

Limerick 22

2009-07-06T09:00:00.003-04:00

Larry was a famous sea bass
Whose antics were always quite crass.
He would talk about crud,
Play in the mud,
And in the hot tub, he would pass gas.

cowriting credit: Nikki

Limerick 21

2009-07-06T08:59:00.003-04:00

There once was a Catholic nun
She liked to get loose and have fun.
As night got later
Out came the vibrator
And then she would get herself some.

cowriting credit: Nikki

Bed Time

2009-06-30T21:09:00.004-04:00

A truck goes driving past my room

It's engine yelling boom boom boom.

In my head I start to ponder

Why that truck had need to wander

So close to my abode,

And wasn't there some other road

That he should be on late tonight

When I am trying hard to fight

This sleep deprived state that I find

Settled upon my anxious mind.

All of this new contemplation,

introspective speculation,

and awareness have uncovered

A chilling thought that has hovered

Quietly in the tick tick tock

Of the alarm set for five o' clock.

Beginning Summer 2009

2009-06-30T13:54:00.004-04:00

I lost my iPhone... I tried to buy one of the new 32 GB phones. All AT&T stores in the world are sold out. The Apple stores aren't sold out, but since they're not AT&T stores, they're a pain to deal with. I drove 50 min to the Apple store in Ann Arbor last night to try and get one, and they said that since my dad wasn't there (he's the one with the name on our family plan) I couldn't upgrade. Bitches.

Don't try to call or text me, I won't answer. I ordered a 32 GB online, but it probably won't be here until middle of next week.

On the 1st of July it's supposed to be a low of 40 degrees. Last week it was in the 90s all week.

I'm going to Muskogee, OK for 3 days in the middle of July.

I've been to 3 weddings so far this month, but they're all over for the summer! Yay! I like going to weddings, but my bank account hurts, and I'm tired of dressing up.

This is my 200th post.

June / Weddings

2009-06-22T20:37:00.003-04:00

Last Thursday I wrote a poem about not being able to go to sleep when I was trying to go to sleep. I guess that was a bit counter productive. I was going to post it at work, but I forgot to and now I'm not at work but the poem still is...

I've been to 2 weddings so far this month! They were great. It's kinda crazy to see my friends with whom I bachelored it up getting hitched. Have a great life Will and Kelli. Have a great life Joel and Sarah. I've got one more wedding to go to this month.

It's been an expensive month. I bought 2 suits (buy one get one free) and some other things and my bank account is hurting. I'm going to get the new iPhone soon (tomorrow maybe) too. It's worth it though, and I've been saving a little bit so I can splurge.

A couple weeks ago I was playing softball. I was on first base, and the batter hit the ball to the shortstop. I ran to second. The shortstop fielded the ball and ran to second. We collided with our faces. I got a small bruise on my cheek. He broke his eye socket...

I watched a TV special about the Somali pirates vs. US battlecruiser incident that happend a while ago. It was pretty bad ass. Go Navy!

Also, while I'm thinking about it, this is hilariuos. This is hilarious too. This is hilariuos as well. Salma Hayek is super hot. Mark Wahlberg is wearing a hat.

2009-05-27T07:16:00.001-04:00

oh engineering school...

http://www.starslip.com/archive/20090527.shtml

Indy 500

2009-05-26T22:55:00.005-04:00

I went to the Indy 500 this weekend for the first time in my life. It was awesome. It was the most fun I've had all year. I can't recommend it enough. I can't believe I lived in Indiana for 24 years and I never went to the race once, although 21 of those years would not have been as much fun as the other 3. Sorry Indy peoples, that I didn't hang :-( I wasn't in the best state most of the time.

June is going to be incredibly busy on the weekends for me, 3 weddings to attend :-) but I have a feeling it is going to be a bit slow at work. This is exactly the opposite of what has been happening during the beginning of the year. All this year, it seems, I have been incredibly busy with work, and I have not been doing anything on the weekend until recently.

Spring

2009-04-28T20:19:00.002-04:00

I am alive and well. Nothing to worry about here.

Several things have happened since I got back from Peru, but I forgot what most of them are.

I went to Dark Lord Day/Grand Prix/Lil' 5 this past weekend. It was a rockroarin' good time.

I am coaching my OI softball team this summer.

The golf league has started. I shot a 51 last night.

That is all for now.

SoHem 7

2009-04-01T22:58:00.002-04:00

I'm coming home tomorrow! It's not that I'm having a bad time here, it's just that I'm craving some chili cheese waffle fries, and I haven't been able to find those anywhere.

The flight leaves at 11:40 pm (ugh) tomorrow night and I arrive in Detroit at 12:30 pm on Friday.

I love April Fools Day.

SoHem 6

2009-03-31T22:43:00.003-04:00

The toilet at work spins counterclockwise.

I don't know what to think anymore, this spinning the other way in toilets thing was a rock in my world of plumbing generalizations. Say the V. I feel a little bit betrayed. The Simpsons taught me a long time ago that toilets spin the opposite way in Australia. I think it did, at least, that was the impression I got from that episode when Bart called the kid in Australia and put the phone down and forgot about it and then there was the international incident and all that.

:-(

SoHem 5

2009-03-28T13:04:00.002-04:00

Peruvian food is great. It is tasty without all the fat and sugar. It takes some getting used to though. My stomach grumbled a bit during the first week, but so far I've had no serious problems.

The beer on the other hand... it leaves quite a bit to be desired from this beer snob. In Lima it's not much cheaper than it is in a moderately priced US bar, and there are 4 types, I've only had the "good" two. There is the national cocktail, pisco sour, which is a combination of pisco (a Peruvian liqueur), some weird cinamon like spice that comes from bark of some tree in the jungle, some gooey sugary stuff from some other plant in the jungle, lime juice, and egg white. It's ok. I think that back in the 70's, Peru and Colombia were coked out of their mind having a normal drink at some bar in Ecuador and Colombia bet Peru that it couldn't drink a crazy drink that Colombia came up with. Then Peru lost the bet and they've had this "national drink" ever since.

I think there was an explosion near the hotel this morning. There was a big bang and shaking and all the car alarms went off. I was asleep and it woke me up, but I just woke up, thought "was that an explosion," and then turned over and went back to sleep. Everything seems to be running smoothly so it must not have been anything big.

I'm going to see some Inca gold and some catacombs today. Then there's a bus tour that I'm going on tonight. I haven't been this touristy in a while.

SoHem 4

2009-03-24T21:24:00.002-04:00

I had cebiche today! Supposedly this is a traditional dish in Peru. It is fish with most of the skin cut off and then they soak it in lemon juice. They don't cook it they just soak it in lemon juice. Supposedly the lemon cooks the fish. I'm not quite sure about that, and I hope it doesn't make me sick (knock on wood). It is very tender and pretty tasty though (mucho sabroso). Quando tengo hambre, come cebiche en Peru.

They eat mucho food for lunch. I can't eat it all, but then, I don't eat all that much to begin with (unless it's Monday and Chipotle burrito day).

We had clams, but they put onion, tomatoes, and (what looked like) cilantro on top of the clam with a bunch of lemon juice. Then you eat the whole thing at the same time out of the clam shell. It kind of reminded me of taking a huge spoon and filling it up with as much food as you possibly can then shoving the whole thing in your mouth at the same time to make your friends laugh at your funny antics, except everyone was doing it and it wasn't funny (but it was funny in my head, I just didn't laugh).

I have no new water circling the drain research to report today. I will try to check out the pooper at work tomorrow.

SoHem 3

2009-03-24T07:35:00.002-04:00

OK, drain flow update: the sink in the kitchen flows clockwise also. We have some consensus amongst my personal hygiene equipment here.

SoHem 2

2009-03-23T07:28:00.002-04:00

The drain in the bathtub flows clockwise! I don't remember which way drains back home flowed so I guess I'll have to wait 2 weeks to see for sure.

If Brent is correct then I should check even more drains down here just to make sure. I need an appropriately sized sample to make sure this a scientifically rigorous test.

SoHem 1

2009-03-22T14:28:00.005-04:00

Hola from Lima! It is sunny, warm, and it smells funny. Everyone I have spoken to either knows English well enough that I don't need to speak Spanish to them or they don't speak English at all and my limited Spanish does absolutely no good.

I am staying in a nicer part of town. There is a big park and a golf course near where I am staying which is funny because Lima is a desert. I walked around all of it today, probably about 4 miles. Now I'm just tired and sitting on my butt at the hotel. The hotel has a sweet roof with a party room and a pool overlooking Lima. It's kinda like out of a movie and kinda super sweet.

Mony Mony is on the radio right now, blasting from the alarm clock/ipod dock. I've got Direct TV, half of it's in Spanish, but that's ok. I watched "Walk the Line" in English last night.

I'll be here for 2 weeks, drinking nothing but bottled water, coke, and beer and trying not to get Montezuma's Revenge. Adios! Hasta luego!

Edit: I almost forgot! The water in the toilet in my bathroom goes straight down! It's not the swirl around in a circle kind, it just goes straight out! I'm kinda pissed cuz that was what I was most looking forward to finding out in the more southern of the hemispheres. Now I have to go find a toilet that goes around to see which way it goes.

Preparing for the Worst

2009-03-16T21:38:00.001-04:00

Today I received 4 vaccination shots. Here they are in order of most to least deadly: typhoid fever (30% chance of death), yellow fever (7.5% chance of death), hepatitis B (5.8% chance of death), and hepatitis A (0.5% chance of death). Those chances of death are only if I get the disease, and with a vaccine, chance of death becomes (hopefully/nearly) nil. I also received malaria pills (20% chance of death). I have to take 1 per week from now until 4 weeks after I get back from a high risk malaria area. Lima isn't a high risk area, but if I find myself venturing into the jungles of Peru (watch the video all the way through, it's a great song, I think props to finding that song go to Matt but maybe Will and definitely Jeff for solidifying the music crush back in ought 5).

I got 2 shots in my right shoulder, heps A and B. I got one shot in my left shoulder it hurts the most (shit-tons/I'm only typing with right hand), and I think it's typhoid. And I got one shot in my left tricep, yellow fever.

The good news is, when I asked the nurse if I could imbibe tomorrow for St. Patty's Day, she said it would probably be a good idea since I'm going to be in quite a bit of pain, and we all know what krunk juice does for pain.

CEO, more like stupidEO

2009-03-16T21:23:00.004-04:00

Yesterday there was a company wide (OI wide) memo released saying there will be a company wide freeze on all salaries. This means no merit raises at all and all promotional raises have to be approved by the senior management. BUT bonuses will not be affected so the top 4 dudes are getting a combined total of $6.8 mil.

The reasoning was this: merit raises are supposed to be a "lever" they are supposed to reflect the merit that a person has shown over the past year, but they also are supposed to be an incentive to work harder in the next year. Bonuses are calculated solely on the previous year's performance. This is total BS. What's the motivation to work any harder than necessary if you know that there is not going to be any reward for that hard work.

"They say to us, you should be happy to have a job in this terrible economy," even though OI had it's best year ever last year. The company isn't even in financial trouble, not even a little bit. The year before last we had an "amazing" year. I used to have a lot of faith in our upper management, but they keep poopin' on their own reputation.

Honest Abe

2009-03-11T22:03:00.001-04:00

Do you ever wonder what really happened 4 score and 7 years ago???

Number Two

2009-03-11T21:59:00.003-04:00

35 days until the opening day for Toledo minor league baseball! GO DIRT CHICKENS!

Also <==link. Sorry, you have to know a little bit of pop culture to get this one.

YouTubeTV

2009-03-11T21:49:00.002-04:00

Prediction: (warning, life spoilers) In 5 years, there is going to be a TV channel that will just play hilarious internet movies. I can't wait. It'll be like AMC but I'll actually care.

Herr Knifegiverclausensenfiensticker

2009-03-10T17:30:00.002-04:00

I talked to the president of a German lehr manufacturer today and he gave me a knife.

Another One Bites the Dust

2009-02-23T22:12:00.003-05:00

Jakubowski resigns as Rose president

DAMN. Not again. WTF Rose presidential selection comittee?

In other news, I'm going to go to Peru for work for a couple of weeks in late March. Woo frequent flier miles.

Killer App

2009-01-21T00:31:00.004-05:00

ohmgee!

http://www.knightarmco.com/bulletflight/

this is a killer app [pun intended for those of you who are too dense to get it (haha jk, i don't think you're dense)]

first they turned nuclear power into a weapon, and now they've turned the oh so innocent seeming iPhone into a weapon. what's next? xboxes? mountain dew dispensing machines?

Less Heat More Foam!!!!

2009-01-19T07:43:00.005-05:00

Hello world! It's nice to see you once more. Let's start with the weather. It's been gigantically cold here this past week. I think on Friday the temperature was hovering around -10 F. That's way below the freezing point of salty water which, when combined with a foot of snow, can create a terrible situation on the roads. The county/city was happy that it was too cold though because they don't have enough salt to last through the winter so this allowed them to slack off on laying it around. I was about a foot away from one wreck and had all kinds of other terrifying experiences in the vehicular device.

BUT! these conditions are wonderful for making snow which is the main ingredient for snowboarding which I have only done once since New Year :-( but that one time was this weekend. This time, I didn't have any new peoples so I was ripping up and down like a crazy fool. I tried to hit a rail and about 3/4 of the way along it I fell off. Unfortunately, my feet were about 4 feet off the ground and I landed square on my right cheek. It was bitterly painful.

I felt very much more cultured this weekend than I have for a while. I went to see Footloose! in Toledo. It was pretty good. Evidently there are enough people in Toledo to pull professional acts to town for a weekend of shows. I took Nikki too, it was her first professional show ever. I'd never seen Footloose! before so I didn't know that this song (original) was in it. When the song did start during the show, I couldn't help thinking about Puss n' Boots fighting all the guards.

I also saw Benjamin Button this weekend. It's good, go watch it. It's a bit long but what good movie isn't these days.

New Years rocked.

Justice!

2008-12-20T10:32:00.005-05:00

I think that the compy is completely up and running now. I've added a hard drive and installed anti-virus software; I should be good to go for another year.5 or so.

This past week I went to visit a vendor in Uniontown PA, near Pittsburgh, who sells us annealing lehrs. A lehr is like one of those ovens that they put your sub in at Penn Station to toast it, but they're hundreds of feet long and heat bottles up to 1000 degrees to anneal them.

That's not what this story is about though. When I was there, during our factory tour, one of the VP's who was showing us around the factory came over to us and said, you guys aren't going to believe what just happened outside.

Evidently, some dude robbed a bank in Uniontown and shot someone. Then he got in his getaway car which was driven by his wife and had their 1 year old in the back seat. Then she dropped him off at his truck and they split up. He drove his truck, followed by a bunch of cop cars, into the factory grounds when I was having my tour and ran into a fence with his truck. Then the cops rammed his truck with their cars. Then they shot him. He didn't die, he only got hit in the hand, but he lost a finger. When we went outside of the factory, the guy had already been shot and put into an ambulance, but that didn't stop everyone who was working there to go outside and gawk. So I was out there gawking with everyone else standing next to this dude who worked in the office and he said, "This reminds me of the time they found a dead hooker in the stream over there last spring."

yeppers

2008-12-09T08:52:00.002-05:00

My computer is still out of commission. I still need a Windows disc. I've not even had enough time to even turn it on for a week so I guess that doesn't matter that much.

I went snowboarding on Sunday in southern Michigan. After being in CO, ripping in the Midwest is pretty lame, but it's only an hour away and it only costs $30 for a lift ticket and they have night skiing so I can go after work which is what I'm doing tomorrow night.

I think I'm going curling tonight. That's right, curling. You know, the sport where someone shoves a big round rock on some ice and then 2 other people rub the ice in front of it for some reason. I'm doing that.

Snowboard!

2008-12-03T10:27:00.005-05:00

Long story short, my computer got a virus, a couple weeks ago, now I can't log in at home... I'm facing a reformat but haven't had the time recently.

Moral of the story get virus scanning software.

In other news, I got a snowboard!

Didn't Expect That One

2008-11-10T17:43:00.003-05:00

Text Message Conversation

George: "Big news. Jenny and I are engaged."
Me: "Holy shit! Congrats!"
George: "I just lost The Game"

Barack Won

2008-11-05T01:21:00.002-05:00

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There is going to be a black family living in the White House.

I am so so glad that the hate, lies, and fear mongering that was put out by the right wing did not sway Americans. It brings back that optimist in me that has been pushed back by a hostile political environment. It makes me believe even more strongly in the hope of a brighter future and the idea that we can change anything we set our mind to.

I have had to hear a lot of people at work spreading untruths about Barack for the past couple of weeks, and things only got worse and worse as the time drew nearer to election day. How someone can believe, because they read it in a forwarded email, that a politician would purposefully ruin his own country is beyond me. When I hear people who cling to their traditional stances say obvious falsehoods because they cannot check the simple facts when it is so incredibly easy with the internet it makes me lose a lot of hope in the goodness of people. People make decisions for president based on wether someone wears a flag lapel pin. These are all things that I have witnessed first hand.

That's a really sad paragraph, but I think it's a history lesson that should not be forgoten.

I was 12 when Bill Clinton won his second term in office, and I didn't really care about who won at that time. Since I've been old enough to care about the election, the candidate that I wanted to win didn't. It feels really good to be on the winning side for once.

These are the 3 things that are on top of my list for Barack's leadership to accomplish:
1. Earn back America's moral, ethical, and technological leadership throughout the world.
2. Create a high tech infrastructure to support our growing population while reducing our ipact on the environment.
3. Improve the education system in America to compete with students from all over the world.

Butt-ton of Morons

2008-10-22T07:40:00.003-04:00

Let's say that a person driving in their car stops at a 4 way intersection when they don't have a stop sign. Are they just morons or is that against some kind of law? I ask because there are either a butt-ton of morons or criminals running free up here, and, either way, someone is liable to get hurt.

Politics

2008-10-15T22:25:00.003-04:00

Is the debate over yet? I can't stand it anymore, I'm going to play video games.

ON MY NEW TV!!!!!!

Luggage

2008-10-14T18:10:00.002-04:00

I finally received my luggage from my trip to Europe. If we start on the day I left and count to today, my bag took 110 days to get to me. I didn't realize how much I missed the stuff that I had in there. Everything I thought I was just a dumbass and lost, but I didn't lose it, the airline did.

Now I've got my backpack! Does anyone want to go hiking/backpacking before it gets super cold?

I was just sitting on my couch and an Asian dude came and knocked on my door. He's a Asian food delivery guy, and he can't speak English, and he asked me to talk on the phone to the person he was delivering the food to. It was kind of weird. I straightened him out though.

Fake Phone Numbers

2008-10-10T07:38:00.003-04:00

Alright ladies, here's the deal, when you give a fake phone number to some dude who asks you for your phone number, you might actually be giving him MY phone number. I enjoy getting phone calls as much as the next guy, but I don't enjoy getting your phone calls. So stop giving fake phone numbers please. Grow a pair and tell him that you aren't interested and leave my phone in peace.

More Politics

2008-10-01T20:51:00.001-04:00

I think this counts as sending this to 5 of my friends... I hope.

Don't Vote Movie

Bad News First

2008-10-01T17:43:00.002-04:00

The bad news: It's cold. FUCK.

The good news: NEW KILLERS ALBUM!

Weezer rocks1

2008-09-30T17:33:00.003-04:00

I really like this picture. It's pretty much bonerific.

And now it's story time... this one will be quick...
On the way back from the concert, Evie was driving, she tried to open her coffee beverage. She couldn't open it and handed the drink to me to open. I couldn't open the drink either, and the reason for that was there was no cap on the drink to begin with.

2008-09-29T07:36:00.004-04:00

I'm going to see Weezer and Angels and Airwaves tonight. \m/

Today's xkcd is awesome. I'm giong to print it out and hang it on my cube wall.

Round 2

2008-09-24T20:02:00.004-04:00

Today was round 2 between JJ's food and JJ's electronic equipment (round 1 can be found here). Today's matchup was between JJ's delicious steak and JJ's extra computer (future media PC).

Here's the play-by-play:

JJ eats JJ's delicious steak on his computer desk while JJ's extra computer sits impatiently unconnected and completely open underneath the desk.

JJ takes a big bite of JJ's delicious steak as the rest of JJ's delicuios steak slowly slides off of the desk onto and over the keyboard in its keyboard tray and into the gaping maw that is JJ's extra computer.

Fortunately, the steak landed on a piece of plastic and not a video card, motherboard, or hard drive. All is well and the extra computer still doesn't work (it didn't work before the encounter).

Speaking of the extra computer not working, if someone has a video card and/or OS sitting around that they are willing to donate to a sweet cause, let me know.

Genius

2008-09-19T18:34:00.002-04:00

Genius, iTunes' new, read your mind and play all of your favorite music for you, update will tell you which great songs that are similar to the song that you have selected that you do not have and allow you to buy them from the iTunes store with a single click. When I selected a Weezer song, Genius told me that I did not have "Undone - The Sweater Song" and I said yes I do, it's right here. Genius isn't so smart now is it smarty program. Genius told me that I did not have "Undone - The Sweater Song" from the deluxe edition album even though I've got the song on the original album.

I do like the auto playlist feature. It's like Pandora except that it uses music from your compy. I'm super lazy and don't bother to take the time to make playlists anymore so now I can listen to all of the great variety of music from my hard drive without doing a Newton-meter of work

Large Hardon Colider

2008-09-12T07:34:00.001-04:00

http://www.hasthelhcdestroyedtheearth.com/

I like to check about every couple hours just to make sure.

2008-09-03T18:10:00.000-04:00

Rest in peace Cory, you will be dearly missed.

Monitor Woes

2008-08-30T08:26:00.003-04:00

My monitor keeps turning off. I have to hit the power button on it twice to make it go back on. If this thing dies, I'm going to buy dual screens and have a crazy dual wide screen monitor party.

Tragedy

2008-08-29T17:07:00.002-04:00

Something terrible happened today at work. When I arrived, I found High Chancellor Temitope McKinley Makinde the Second DEAD.

X-( Funeral services were held after a brief showing. He is survived by his school at Petsmart.

The High Chancellor

2008-08-28T17:26:00.006-04:00

Today I got a cube mate... during lunch... his name is High Chancellor Temitope McKinley Makinde the Second

Kabam! <-- Best Punch Noise

2008-08-23T00:36:00.004-04:00

HOLY SHIT!!!

When I'm at work, part of my job is to create "drawings". These drawings are used by people with hammers and nail guns to create things. Think about when you buy a futon from walmart and you have all those directions that sort of tell you what to do but you can figure it out anyway. I create those "directions" except they're for making a glass factory. I supply all of the parts, so all that the guy with the nail gun at the new factory has to do is look at my drawing and then take the things I bought for him with and put them together.

Anyway, when we create these "drawings" all the words written on the drawings are in ALL CAPS. So, sometimes I send people messages when I'm at work and my CAPS LOCK is on. I'm sorry if you get a message in ALL CAPS but it's part of my job. Deal with it.

ALSO, I'M SORRY FOR TAKING SUCH A LONG HIATUS FROM POSTING, BUT I'M SUPER BUSY AT WORK AND LIFE.

Next week, and for 2 weeks after, all of the Peruvians that are taking the jobs of all of my friends that got fired are coming from Peru to the building where I work to get trained by me/my colleagues that weren't fired in the first round of layoffs.

Think to yourself, half of the people that I work with are getting laid off. In 3 months I have to teach a bunch of foreigners how to do their job. I feel like this is a moral dilemma and very un-American, but if I don't do it, I don't have a job. If I quit my job, I have to pay back all of my signing bonus...

Since I just ended on a horrible note: something funny

Sorry George, it's YouTube.

Geekdom

2008-08-13T23:11:00.004-04:00

It's not often that I come across two amazingly geek awesome things within several moments of each other...

fallout 3 comic

i will derive

I'm divisible by 1, 2, 3, 4, 6, 8, 12, and 24

2008-08-07T20:35:00.005-04:00

I'm 24! It doesn't feel much different except that I'm in the best shape of my life, smartest, funniest, and richest I've ever been, and girls like me more than ever. I've been to 6 different foreign countries and Texas recently. I hit a grand slam in softball, and have hit 3 other home runs this season (the first 4 home runs of my life). Being a grown up rocks. Take math and go to college kids. It's worth it.

In related news, I just realized how much of a wishing happy birthday machine facebook has become. There's a lot of people with whom the only wall communication (and for some the only communication) I've had is happy birthday wishes. That doesn't make it a bad thing. I think that if someone will take a minute out of their day to wish me happy birthday I am blessed when sometimes I won't even take a minute to feed myself properly even if it's the only communication that I have for an entire year because without the facebook there would be no communicatinon and that would be worse.

Thanks for all the bday wishes everybody! Thanks for all the oops I forgot about your birthday wishes too! Late is just an early wish for next year.

Mexico 2, the sequel

2008-07-31T21:00:00.002-04:00

Mexico was way better this time than it was last time, but that is because I drank more beer and sat around the pool more on this trip. It still sucks not being able to touch liquid that doesn't come in a bottle or is cooked.

Also, I feel like I am making a difference in my workplace now. The higher up's in O-I don't care though, and they'll cut my ass like the quarterback of whatever team that gets Brett Favre for the next season if they feel like it.

arghTunes

2008-07-31T20:44:00.003-04:00

No I don't want to download a new iTunes because someone hacked your precious iPhone and you need to give everyone in the world the patch. God damn Apple, I love the phone, but if you don't quit updating iTunes with a new 60 mb software package every month I'm going to become disgruntled very quickly.

Earthquakes? EARTHQUAKES!

2008-07-24T20:24:00.004-04:00

Sorry George, this is another youtube post, but it's totally worth it.

As evidenced by my earlier posts, I am an Obama fanboy. As such, this video: Yes We Can I found to be really inspiring. For participation in this post, it is necessary to watch this video. I don't care if you don't like him, watch that movie right now if you want to continue, or else... or else you won't get the joke which is probably one of the worst things you can bring upon yourself and this beautiful hilarious world that we live in.

When you're finished watching Yes We Can, watch the punchline: Yes We Shall.

If this isn't the funniest thing of your week, I will punch you in the throat for being a liar.

I think I'm going to go have a delicious milkshake now...

GRAMMARMAN!!!

2008-07-23T17:25:00.002-04:00

I have just laid down a personal grammar rule. Allow me to expound: smiley, frowny, x'ey, toungey, etc. faces count as punctuation :-) If you're reading my words and think to yourself, there's a :-P (or the P face as I like to say) separating those two independent sentences that should be separated by a comma tying them together into a compound sentence, then you're seeing my new gramatical rule in action.

I kissed a girl

2008-07-21T22:34:00.002-04:00

No, your boyfriend doesn't mind. Heard this on the radio today... Pop music can keep doing this, I don't mind.

Beginning Guitar Website

2008-07-15T00:27:00.005-04:00

OK, I'm not a big fan of those long posts. They take a long time to type and read, and they clog up the page. I'll try not to do that again.

I found an awesome website for free guitar lessons online. There's even an mp3 that you can play on the site that is just 12 bar blues that you can "solo" over. It tells you how to do it. I could just sit there and practice my soloing for a long time. It also has easy to play songs that I had not identified before. Worth taking a look at for those who are like me and not so good at guitaring it up.

Also, I'm going back to Mexico for work in 2 weeks. I'm not really looking forward to it, but at least I'll have awful intestinal problems if I drink the water.

SUPERBLINK Europe

2008-07-12T22:47:00.004-04:00

I have so much to say about Europe that I can't fit it all in one post, and I'm going to forget to post any more posts about Europe after this post so this will be the only one about Europe, but I promise it's going to be really long to make up for not posting for the past 2 weeks.

First, Europeans love soccer. This is common knowledge, but I was there. I saw it with my own two eyes. I saw soccer hooligans. These weren't just any soccer hooligans though, these were Spanish soccer hooligans on the day that their country was playing in the Eurocup finals. I arrived in Madrid on the day of the game. We went down to a huge square where 2 massive screens had been set up so people could be soccer hooligans in the streets instead of being soccer hooligans in bars. I suppose this made them get less drunk as the game went on, but most of them were already well on their way by the time they arrived at the square, and the ones that weren't smuggled their boozahol into the square for gametime refreshment.

Think about the ball dropping in Times Square in New York during New Years Eve except it lasts for two 45 minute halves instead of 10 seconds and you'll get a rough comparison of what this was like. Instead of counting down, everyone chanted things like:
"Yo soy Espanol, yo soy Espanol, yo soy Espanol." ("I am Spanish, I am Spanish, I am Spanish")
blah blah blah spanish words with jumping up and down (Translated into "Germans can't jump")
There were more chant/songs, but I can't remember them, and they were all just as dumb. It felt like 4th grade when I yelled stuff like "batterbatterbatterbatterSWINGbatter" and "We want a pitcher not a belly itcher" in little league.

Spain won 1-0 and everyone went crazy. People lit off flares in the middle of the crowd and everyone jumped up and down screaming for a long while. Helicopters flew around shinning lights on the streets. Cars honked for hours. People walked around the streets yelling stuff about how awesome Spain was. It was Sunday night. I've never seen so many drunk people on a Sunday celebrating so late, and I can't think of a city getting that wild except for maybe a SuperBowl, NCAA championship, or massive concert.

Second, let me recount my battles with the worst airline ever, American Airlines. My flight to Europe (the cheapest I could find...) went from Detroit to Chicago to London to Madrid. All in all the travel time getting there was roughly 20 hours with layovers. My flight from Detroit to Chicago was great, my flight from Chicago to London was delayed 3 hours (in addition to a 5 hour layover) which caused me to miss my connector to Madrid. Being delayed doesn't bother me too much, but the problem was missing my connector and having Carolyn not know when to pick me up from the airport and me not being able to get in touch with her once I was in Spain. Fortunately, with my magic phone I was able to email her my connecting flight info before I left the states (the magic of the phone doesn't work in a foreign country very well). I had to sprint through the London airport to make it to my connector in time.

Once I got there in one piece I found out that, though valiant in travel, my checked bag did not make it through the night to arrive with me. Turns out, American Airlines, in all of the professionalism they could muster, failed to put my bag on the plane going to London even with a 3 hour layover. I was in Madrid, leaving to Barcelona the next day, and my bag was still in Chicago. They would send it to Barcelona the next day though so I could pick it up there. Well, that's just dandy, not good by any means, but it would have to do. Meanwhile, I'm in Madrid with just the clothes on my back (I try to only check bags or only carry-on bags, this time it was a only check bag deal) which included just undies, cargo shorts, wallet, passport, bottle-opener flip-flops, and my "...david bander" t-shirt. This is all that I had from home for... ... ... THE ENTIRE TRIP!!!!

That's right, the airline failed to send my bag to Barcelona, so we told them we were going to be in Milan in a couple of days and could they please send it there. Then when we got to Milan they hadn't sent it of course (that was about 5 days after I landed) so we asked them to send it to Florence which was where we were going to be a couple days later. When we got there it was about day 10 into the trip, and they hadn't sent it to Florence. It sat in Madrid the whole time. After that I told them to just send it home. Hopefully, I'll see my stuff again.

Fortunately, the airline will reimburse me for buying clothes to replace what I didn't have for my trip. I did all of my clothes buying in Milan. Milan is one of the Fashion capitals of the world along with New York, London, and Paris. There's an at least 20 block radius that's just clothing stores. Prada, Gucci, Armani, all those types of stores have their flagship stores there within a minutes walk of each other. It was still a pain in the ass though, even though I got new clothes.

*** Conclusion: Never Fly On American Airlines... EVER

Third, there are about 5 gazillion monuments left over from before anything was created by European colonists in America. This means that Europeans don't really care too much about having castles or greek statues or cathedrals in their back yards. They say, oh, that's nice, another castle, too bad it's in the way of my supermercado.

The coolest castle in the world is at Carcassonne which we visited. It's huge and completely restored. There's no crumbling walls. It's like looking at what a castle looked like back in the day when there were knights and ladies hanging out and jousting each other. You can just walk around it wherever you want, and there's people that live inside it with shops and restaurants and the like. We bought a bottle of wine and walked along all the walls and drank straight out of the bottle. A couple of foxy female French police officers we passed by (with dogs)(in the castle) started talking to us about the wine, and we thought they were saying bong. Let me tell you, it's weird as hell having a couple of chick police officers with a dogs telling you to bong your bottle of wine in the middle of the street. Of course, they didn't want us to bong the wine. They were saying "bon" with accents that made it sound like bong. Bon in French means good. It took all 4 of us saying bong about 10 times each for us to figure out what the hell they were talking about. The conversation went something like this.

PO1: Bong? (How's your wine dudes?)
C: Bong? (You want us to bong the wine?)
J: Bong? (WTF is bong? French people are weird.)
PO1: Bong, bong. (Yeah, that's what I said)
J: Bong? (Oh, bong)
J: Bong? (Wait, you want us to bong the wine?)
PO2: Bong. (Pointing at the bottle and saying good you morons.)
PO1: Bong. (This was the way that cavemen first communicated to each other.)
C: Oh, bon. (Ah ha! I get it.)
J: Bong? (Do we need some kind of aparatus to do this propperly?)
PO2: Bon. (At least one of them gets it.)
C: Bon, bon. (Yep, the wine's good.)
J: OHHHHHHH, BON. (Goddamn I'm a moron.)
POs: French gibberish with waving probably along the lines of go on your way, but don't fall of the castle wall and hurt yourself because we're going on break in a couple of minutes
J: Bon, bon, bon, bon. (I learned a new French word! Hooray for representing America like intelligent world citizens.)

Also, along the same lines (drinking on national French monuments older than the oldest city in the western hemisphere), we went to Avignon where Carolyn's friend Laura was hanging out for a couple of weeks. Turns out, back in the day, The Pope Man lived in Avignon and he built a GIANT palace. Kids were skateboarding and riding bikes and people were drinking and hanging out at the palace.

Fourth, Italy is super expensive, but they have a lot of cool slightly old shit, and a not as much really cool really old shit. Slightly old shit is from around the Renaissance Time (1300s-1600s) and later. Really old shit is Roman, but most of that is in Rome (duh). The Italians had a lot of money in the Renaissance and they spent a lot of that money on fancy architecture, palaces, and gold decorations. I think I saw at least 500 variations of the same painting of the Virgin Mary holding the baby Jesus. None of them had Jesus wearing a tuxedo t-shirt sing lead vocals with a heavenly band of angels shredding and headbanging. They have so much religious art in Italy it's ridiculous. I suppose that is where the Catholic Church is headquartered, but it's still pretty crazy how much there is.

I saw the body parts of Saints. There was one church that had probably 10 different super ornate gold and silver boxes with Saint body parts in them. They had little windows that let you see the parts. Hilights were a femur and rotten finger.

The Vatican is super cool. The Pope has a giant chair and a giant stamp collection. The Sisteen Chapel, while beautiful, is, I think, overrated.

The Roman ruins are awesome. They are all ruins though. They have been picked apart by weather and scavengers for a thousand years and more. I just liked to stand there and imagine what they looked like when they were in their full grandeuer with beautiful painted statues (with all their arms and legs and penises), banners flapping in the wind, ornate gold and bronze work over everything, and Romans running too and fro. I especially liked to stand in the Coleseum and imagine gladiators fighting to the death with 50,000 spectators cheering them on and Augusts sitting in his throne giving the thumbs up or thumbs down.

The Pantheon is an engieering masterpiece. It's made even more impressive with how old it is. Romans, 2000 years or however long ago, built this massive struture without any of the technology we have today. It's hard to believe that they built these treasures of buildings and we build ugly McMansions across the land.

TTFN

Limerick 20

2008-06-27T23:38:00.003-04:00

It's awful that we feel so sad
When we lose things that made us feel glad.
We get on with life,
Deal with our strife,
And realize that things aren't that bad.

Limerick 19

2008-06-26T22:02:00.002-04:00

Jen was a flirtatious lass
Who always got A's in shop class
She'd always stay late
For nails she'd wait
And then go home with a sore ass.

Limerick 18

2008-06-26T21:53:00.003-04:00

Bob was the biggest T-Rex
Had arms that he couldn't flex,
But he had brothels
Of dinosaur belles
And lots of hot reptile sex.

Limerick 17

2008-06-26T12:22:00.004-04:00

Our heroine now is named Jess.
She looks really great in that dress.
Her hairless cat
She loves a good pat,
And is jubilant during caress.

Limerick 16

2008-06-26T00:06:00.003-04:00

All boys want to meet their dream chick,
She knows how to do a neat trick
With the back of her tongue
When things are flung
Thanks to her ladylike lick.

Limerick 15

2008-06-25T23:52:00.002-04:00

There was a young lad they called Bart.
His gases were known to be tart.
No lady would stay,
At the end of the day
Because 'tween the sheets he would fart.

Insight into Maddness

2008-06-25T20:56:00.003-04:00

When researching limerick 14, I stumbled across some interesting things about wine bottles.

Evidently people in the bible REALLY liked to drink wine as is evidenced by the names of the bottles in this size chart. My favorite is the Maximus which, weighing in at the biggest in the list is 173 1/3 bottles of Bordeaux wine or 130 liters which is about 1000 glasses of wine depending on how big your glasses are.

Limerick 14

2008-06-25T20:34:00.003-04:00

The only word that rhymes with poem
Is the esoteric jeroboam.
It's a really big jug
Of wine that you chug
Before writing a terrible poem.

Your Boyfriend Sucks

2008-06-25T00:12:00.002-04:00

"All right, listen to me. You pull up right where she is, right? You go to get out of the car and you lock both doors. Then get out of the car, and you walk over to her, and bring her over to the car. Take out the key, put it in the lock, open the door for her, and you let her get in. Then you close the door for her. You walk around the back of the car, and you look through the rear window. If she doesn't reach over and lift up that button so you could get in, dump her. Just like that? Listen to me kid, if she doesn't reach over and lift up that button, so you could get in, that means she's a selfish broad, and all you've seen is the tip of the iceberg. You dump her, and you dump her fast."

Can't Sleep

2008-06-24T01:41:00.002-04:00

I haven't been tired at all during the nights this week. I've just been reading...

"The United States won the Cold War not simply because it outgunned the Soviet Union but because American values held sway in the court of international public opinion, which included those who lived within communist regimes. Even more than was true during the Cold War, the struggle against Islamic-based terrorism will not be simply a military campaign but a battle for public opinion in the Islamic world, among our allies, and in the United States. Osama bin Laden understands that he cannot defeat or even incapacitate the United States in a conventional war. What he and his allies can do is inflict enough pain to provoke a reaction of the sort we've seen in Iraq - a botched and ill-advised U.S. military incursion into a Muslim country, which in turn spurs on insurgencies based on religious sentiment and nationalist pride which in turn necessitates a lengthy and difficult U.S. occupation..." and on until everyone in the Muslim world hates us and Americans are sick and tired of it all.

quote from Barack's book The Audacity of Hope p307-8

Mexico

2008-06-24T00:18:00.003-04:00

I was informed today that I have to go to Mexico for a week in July. I'm going here. Let me tell you what, going to BFM is not my idea of a good time. It might be cool if it were a vacation resort, a cultural place, or somewhere that wasn't overwhelmed by poverty, but it's like going to a small town in the middle of Kansas where no one speaks English, you can't drink the water or eat anything uncooked, and you spend 12 hour days in a glass factory. Thankfully it's only for a week, and I get a ton of frequent flier miles out of the deal.

harder, better, faster, stronger

2008-06-24T00:11:00.003-04:00

work it harder
make it better
do it faster
makes us stronger

more than ever hour after our work is never over

Straight from the TUBES!

2008-06-22T23:44:00.003-04:00

I think I just saw smoke coming out of my DVD player in my computer... yikes. It might just be a figment of my imagination since it's still running fine and it doesn't smell like broke.

An easy way to get rid of the cell phone speaker buzz? I haven't tried it yet...

The most important image ever taken? Maybe, I don't think so though.

we need more pink slips

2008-06-21T10:33:00.004-04:00

The guy who came up with the idea of the fattest guy in a speedo and bra contest at the strip club in Toledo is being added to my list of people who should be fired from their jobs.

People Who Should Be Fired From Their Jobs:
1. the HR department at OI
2. the guy who came up with the idea of the fattest guy in a speedo and bra contest at the strip club

Charlie we're scuba diving!

2008-06-20T20:00:00.002-04:00

Inmate Dance

2008-06-18T07:28:00.002-04:00

I saw this : Thriller : the other day, but I just stumbled upon these. These guys are more synchronized than any amateur dance I think I've ever seen.

News Story about this stuff

Soulja Boy / Can't Touch This
Canon in D (as if to say, "we can play the guitar too.")
Do The Hustle
Jump

There's so many more out there too.

Restless Summer

2008-06-15T12:06:00.001-04:00

I want to take a road trip. Does anyone within a 5 hour drive of Toledo want a visitor next weekend?

June Ninth aka Sixty Nine!

2008-06-09T22:51:00.002-04:00

Podcasts are really great. I never listened to them before, but now I've been listening to them at work for a while. I recommend the Irish Music podcast and the Wait Wait Don't Tell Me podcast. Each show is about an hour long, and they're great when you sit at a desk for a couple of hours in a row. iTunes has a bunch of them that are free to download.

I'm going to go to Europe in the beginning of July. Carolyn is finishing her studies in Spain, and we're going to travel from Madrid to Italy. I need to get a backpack.

I also want to do some more 'extreme' sports. The only bad thing about that is that northwest Ohio is about the farthest you can get from any mountain or ocean which is where a lot of those sports are located.

FaFaFaFaFaFaFaFriday!

2008-05-30T08:21:00.002-04:00

I found one of my belts! It was underneath a t-shirt.

In Toledo the radio stations play much different music than they played in Indiana. I hear NIN and "You've Lost That Loving Feeling" all the time.

Also, red wine does not go very well with greasy bacon, but they are both delicious. If enjoyed at the proper intervals, they don't detract from each other, much like pizza and ice cream.

I'm going to the Red Bull Air Race in Detroit on Sunday!

Brinner

2008-05-29T20:30:00.002-04:00

Brown Belt

2008-05-29T07:15:00.001-04:00

I think my new apartment eats brown belts. I've been here less than two weeks, and I've lost my two brown belts. I don't know what's going on.

Softball

2008-05-28T19:44:00.002-04:00

The softball league has started! I can't believe how much I missed hitting a little ball with a bat, but softball is so much fun. Now with the softball league, golf league, and tae kwon do, I'm doing some sort of organized physical activity every day but Friday. It's awesome.

Also, I got a text today from Ryland which was bizarre, super gross, and hilarious at the same time. I will post it here for everyone's pleasure:

"Sooo . . . What's new with you? Not much? Well, I just caught two guys jerkin' each others' wenis at the urinals at work. Bam."

Thank you Rylando, you made my day.

Yesterday I did a heat transfer problem. It took me 6 hours. Here's the problem statement:

Given a 54" circular duct with exhaust gasses flowing through it, assuming a 1000 deg F outside temperature, identify the type and thickness of insulation needed to have a surface temperature that will not burn someone who touches it. Also, this duct is in Thailand and they don't have fancy insulation like we have here in the US.

FUCKING AMAZING!

2008-05-24T11:41:00.006-04:00

Thank you Danna :-), Pork and Beans, the new Weezer song. This video is great! It just made my weekend. Take all the funniest videos from the internets over the past couple of years and combine them with an awesome band, and you get something brilliant. If there were such a thing, I'd be crying tears of awesomeness.

This is a quick list of the videos that I recognized that are referenced in the music video, I've been wanting to make a collaboration of my fave internet videos for a while, and this is a perfect time. This isn't all my favorites, but I loved every video in the Weezer video so...

Dramatic Oprah's Vajayjay (the oprah part isn't in the music vid, but the dramatic part is)
Charlie the Unicorn (look hard for this one)
Chocolate Rain
Numa Numa Kid (the original song)
Evolution of Dance (#1 YouTube movie for a long time barely edging out Avril's Girlfriend)
All Your Base (someone set us up the bomb)
Miss Teen South Carolina
Star Wars Kid
Brittney Kid
Afro Ninja (I'd never seen this one till now, but it's hilarious)
Extreme Diet Coke & Mentos Experiment (I'd not seen this one either)
Daft Punk Girls
Daft Punk Hand
Shoes (I hate this video)
Peanut Butter Jelly Time
Guitar Kid (the xkcd refering to this kid {read the tooltip})

I know I missed some of the ones in the Weezer video so post 'em up if I forgot 'em.

The Disapearing Trick is Complete

2008-05-23T16:22:00.002-04:00

Hi, it's been a while, but I have an excuse. I moved. I'm saving more than $300/month from moving from my old apartment to my new one. I just got the internet in my new place, and it feels good to be back. Spring is finally here, and summer is almost here. I had (and am still sort of having) huge throat issues. I thought they were allergies, but I wasn't 100% sure. Claratin didn't work in fixing them, but I'm not a doctor so I don't really know what happened.

One thing I can say is this. When my throat issues were at their worst, I wanted to go see a doctor so that I wouldn't spend an hour and a half lying in bed trying to go to sleep when I was coughing like a chain smoker. I asked people at work for recommendations and got some. I called around to a couple of places and it seemed like most doctors aren't taking new patients, and when they are taking new patients, I couldn't get in to see them for at least a week.

I would recommend to anyone moving to a new place, go find a doctor when you are not sick, especially if you're paying for health insurance. It's a lot easier to go see a doctor when you're already a patient for them because they will squeeze you in to the schedule. If you're a new patient, they've got to do a longer appointment, and you might not get prompt the prompt treatment that you need.

Posting Rules

2008-05-16T23:19:00.002-04:00

I don't think I can make a new post till George or his representative posts a comment on my most previous post.

Assortment

2008-05-14T19:40:00.003-04:00

Florida rocks! \m/

I don't have to scuba dive at work, I'd just like to get outside every now and then during the work day.

I'm moving to a new apartment in a week.

The Red Bull Air Race is coming to Detroit on May 31 and June 1. Also, Detroit is right next to Canada/Windsor (hint hint). If anyone wants to make the trip, I'm planning on going up that weekend. Detroit is only an hour from where I live.

The Front Fell Off

2008-05-14T07:40:00.001-04:00

Thanks Elaine:

Quite possibly the funniest thing I've seen on youtube since Charlie the Unicorn

The Brilliance of Toledo

2008-05-13T17:05:00.004-04:00

I was listening to the radio on my 1 minute drive home from work today, and the dj was playing a game. His game was this; he would try to guess the make of a caller's car by listening to the caller honk the horn through the phone. If the dj was wrong the caller got a gift certificates or some other worthless bs that the radio stations give away on contests like this.

The conversation went something like this:
car: honk honk
dj: chevy
caller: no, it's a caprice

At this point I thought to myself, isn't a caprice a chevy? (yes) Then I tried to remember the rules of the game that the dj had explained to me 10 seconds before to see if there was some kind of loophole that the dumb girl calling could have taken advantage of to get around the rule of the dj naming the make of your car. (no) So the dumb girl calling was either cheating badly or she didn't know that her car was made by chevy. This is where the punchline of the story goes, but I've been very funny for the past month. I need to take a break and recharge my humor sacks.

Jay Jay the Jet Plane

2008-05-08T17:29:00.004-04:00

Hey everybody! It's JJ the Jet Plane!

youtube movie of JJ the Jet Plane

I signed a lease for a different much cheaper apartment for the next year. If I have any advise for getting an apartment, don't wait until 2 weeks before your current lease is up.

click here to get rick rolled

edit: JJ el avioncito

Dinner

2008-05-06T19:27:00.001-04:00

I can't decide what to eat for dinner...

Pizza?

Chinese?

Pudding Cups/Jello?

The Force is Strong

2008-05-05T12:56:00.001-04:00

I love Star Wars and I love Barack...

The Empire Strikes Barack

Iron Man Rocks.

Dark Lord Russian Imprerial GTA IV

2008-04-30T07:43:00.005-04:00

Mmmm, I have 8 $15 beers in my living room. Do they taste good? I don't know. Are they worth $15? Maybe. Were they really hyped up by thousands of people? Definitely. Was standing in line for 4 hours with good ol' buddies worth it? Abso-frickin-lutely.

I felt like adding to the hype so I bought GTA IV yesterday. I hope it beats Halo 3 in all of those sales contests; then I can say that I truly was part of something great.

Revenge

2008-04-25T17:14:00.002-04:00

How would you like this one neighbor bitch? I'll go ahead and turn my music up to max, then I'll lock my door and jam it closed so even if the people in the front office want to get in they won't be able to. Then I'll drive to Indiana for the weekend and celebrate at a delicious beer festival.

Beats the hell out of squat jumps, and I get to drink beer while I'm doing it.

seeqpod

2008-04-24T17:07:00.002-04:00

Here is a website that you need to go to: seeqpod

I don't recommend websites all that often, but when I do it's worth it.

seeqpod allows you to search the internets for any song you want and then add it to a dynamic play list all from the comfort of your favorite internet browser. I've been waiting for this website to fall into my lap since I was 12 and I tried to copy one of my cd's onto my computer before the proliferation of such software.

Earth Day '08

2008-04-22T07:25:00.002-04:00

I love Earth Day! I think I'm going to go plant a tree and read Song of Myself or Walden.